Empty Silence
by Zombie-Jedi-Nightwing
Summary: [deleted scene from "Lethal Outbreak"] To help heal Anakin's trauma over the tragedy involving his Padawan, Obi-Wan takes his friend to the Soul Healers; an experience that leaves Anakin's only surviving memories of Ahsoka shattered and scattered. [rated T for brief mentions of zombie-violence]


**This is based off of "Star Wars: Lethal Outbreak", and though recommended to have read it before reading this, you could probably enjoy this without it.**

**A/N: Hey! Look! I'm not done with "Lethal Outbreak"! I know, an update for that is long overdue, I've just been really busy. So, while you guys are waiting for the next chapter to that, here's a quick oneshot. For those of you that have read LO, you should know what's going on. For those that haven't, just know that a virus is turning people into zombies, and Anakin has just suffered a great tragedy with Ahsoka. Yeah. So, enjoy! :)**

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><p><strong>DATE 101/45876 **

**(During the Coruscant Evacuation)**

When he'd felt their bond snap, he was so sure that it was a trick of the mind. Surely, it was Ahsoka was just blocking him out, or maybe had gotten knocked out. She wasn't… she couldn't be… she was just distracted. Or maybe the Force was separating them for some strange reason.

But reason teased Anakin in the back of his mind. If a Jedi were knocked unconscious, their Force-signature would be weakened; not dead to the universe. And Ahsoka had no reason to severe the connection – not the bond that they both held sacred. No, no, no. Denial clouded his feelings, his common sense, his mind and heart and soul. Even as he heard Obi-Wan's own pained gasp, heard the cries from the other passengers on board their EVAC transport. Even as he saw the other ship, the one with his Togruta Padawan onboard, burst into flames, with bloody hand prints smeared on the windows and the sudden disappearance of two familiar green blades. Ahsoka's words rang in his ears.

_"Anakin, I'm so sorry! I let my guard down, I was sloppy… Holy Force, Master, the pilot's a mutt! The virus, the virus is here! In the ship! Oh Force, h-he… the pilot… he just attacked the copilot, they're breaking out of the cockpit…"_

_"Anakin, I-I have t-to land this thing on Coruscant. I can't let these things reach any other systems…"_

_"Thanks for everything you've done for me."_

_"I love you, Skyguy."_

Even when the ship crashed back down through the clouds, and even when the explosion from the surface of Coruscant shuddered even the high atmosphere, he couldn't believe it. _No, no, please Force, no…_ This was all just another nightmare, another kriffing nightmare. He would wake up soon, and be back in the safety of the Jedi Temple, or at least in the _Resolute_, with Ahsoka by his side, relieved that he had woken up finally. He'd try to ease her worry by cracking a corny and tragically unfunny joke, and then they'd both either go to breakfast, or go find Obi-Wan to figure out what the Jedi's next move was to stop the pandemic.

But the scene just kept rolling before his eyes, the stabbing, aching hole in his gut did not disappear, and at that moment, his ears were just filled with white, static-like noise, rushing like a waterfall, surrounding him with perfect chaos, splitting his mind in two.

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><p>Obi-Wan too felt Ahsoka simply vanish from the Force, her presence shattering into a million unfindable shards. He felt a chunk of himself get torn out and thrown away where he couldn't reach it; and he felt Anakin's pain shoot through the Force like a knife wound, the younger man dropping to his knees next to him.<p>

The explosion could be felt up in the ship, rocking them, as over two dozen life forms simply vanished from the Force, dead or contaminated by the epidemic.

Slowly, limbs unwittingly trembling, Obi-Wan knelt down into a crouched position near Anakin, eyes wide in shock, lips parted in a silent cry of loss and grief. He felt the eyes of several people on them, and to shy away from all their inquisitive and empathetic stares, he turned his gaze to Anakin. He expected his former Padawan to be grieving, or furious, or hurt, or shocked.

He certainly did not expect to find those sky blue eyes completely hazed over, dead to the world, face frozen in time, numb and completely void of all emotion.

"Anakin?" Concern immediately flowed through his veins, somewhat dampening the heartbreak that threatened to rip him apart. "Anakin?" He noticed the younger man's eyes continuing to grow dimmer and dimmer, and instinctively reached out a hand towards him.

So he was prepared when the other Knight suddenly swayed, and then collapsed right into his arms.

** (3 Months Later) **

_"Master, I saw her, I swear!" Anakin's voice was filled to the brim with panic, eyes widened to the point where the pupils completely devoured his blue irises, face pale, cold sweat lathering his face. _

_"Anakin… Anakin calm down!" Obi-Wan placed both hands on his shoulders, now a common gesture as he pulled the younger man down with him so they were both sitting. "Anakin, please, you're going to hurt yourself, take a breath!" _

_Somewhere behind them, Padme ran off – or walked as fast as she could in her pregnant state – to find a medic. _

_Anakin tipped dangerously to the side so that Obi-Wan feared to loosen his grip lest the Knight collapse. "Master, Obi-Wan, I swear I'm not lying. Ahsoka was there! She was right there! I saw her, she was right by the shelter, I swear it, Master, I swear…" His words were tripping over each other, pouring out of his mouth rapidly, the young man panting as his pulse increased. Obi-Wan gripped him tighter, pulled him a bit closer, and sent slow pulses through the Force in an attempt to calm his former student down. "Anakin, please…"_

_"You don't believe me!" Now, there was a hot sheen in those wild eyes. "I know you don't believe me, and I know Padme doesn't either, but I saw her!"_

_"Anakin, Ani, I do believe you saw her! I do!"_

_And suddenly, the Jedi Knight was against his chest, gripping him tightly. "I'm not crazy, Master," he gasped, shaking his head. "I-I'm not, please tell me I'm not, I'm not insane, am I, Master? Please tell me I'm not crazy…"_

Obi-Wan jerked himself out of the flashback, only now just realizing how deeply he had dug his nails into the flesh of his palms. He wiped his hands, smearing a bit of blood, against his Jedi-issue tunic, and glanced to his right. Anakin sat there, staring at the floor of the old, tiny medical clinic that the Naboo residents in the area used as a hospital. Currently, they were the only ones in the lobby area, and the hushed whispers of the Jedi Soul Healers could be heard through the wooden door as they discussed their next patient.

He sensed a bolt of fear come at him through the Force, and placed a comforting hand on the arm of the younger man beside him. "It'll be alright, Anakin," he whispered, sending a soothing pulse towards him. "This is the right thing to do, I promise you. It'll help."

Just then, the wooden door opened, and one of the two Healers looked at them with a weak smile. "Knight Skywalker, you can come in now."

'Knight Skywalker's' face paled significantly, to the point where Obi-Wan dare not release him, but instead gave an affirmative squeeze. "Trust me, Anakin." His voice was as quiet as could possibly by imagined. "I'll come with you, alright?"

Anakin's gaze turned to him, eyes filled with chaos and confusion and trauma. He held the eyes of his mentor in a lock, until finally, he gave a small nod. "Okay."

They entered the room together, and moments later, the Soul Healers forced their way into the young Jedi's mind.

** (One Week Later) **

They sat together in the kitchen area. Padme was in the background once more, cooking something edible from the rations they had been given, while Anakin and Obi-Wan waited patiently at the table. Anakin, suddenly fascinated in the works of his prosthetic arm, bent and twisted and played with the metal, while Obi-Wan sat and watched him above the rim of his coffee mug. Once or twice, he made the pleasing observation that the younger Jedi seemed a bit calmer, definitely more focused than the past few months, and wasn't skeleton thin as he had been before the Soul Healers' visit.

But of course, not everything was perfect. Because, out of the blue as he usually did now, Anakin began bombarding him with questions. "How old was she when we first met? I know you've already told me, but I've forgotten." He didn't even glance up at his mentor as he inquired, and Obi-Wan pursed his lips.

"Fourteen," he whispered, and Anakin nodded, creasing his brow.

"And, um, I-I didn't want her at first, did I?"

He placed his mug down, and folded his hands. "Not really; but you got over it. You became close."

"She was funny, I remember that." Anakin sounded pleased with himself upon that knowledge, and some of the shadow left his face. "A-And she used to call me weird names, which I pretended I hated, but I didn't. A-And I called her names back, Wiseguy, or smartaleck, or something like that…"

"Snips," he managed to say around the lump in his throat. "You called her Snips, because she always called you Skyguy."

Anakin actually smiled. "Skyguy… Hmph. That sounds disrespectful." He looked up at him finally, eyes pleading for information. "She really was snippy, wasn't she? I think she was… yeah, she was definitely snippy. Always being sarcastic. Didn't you blame that on me once?"

"Yes." Out of the corner of his eye, Obi-Wan could see Padme had finished cooking, and simply stood still in the kitchen, listening to each and every word. He cleared his throat, hoping to change the subject. "The Council has called a meeting later today…"

"Did I love her?" That same question that always crawled beneath his skin came shooting at him like a bullet, Anakin frowning and mentally cursing his lack of memory in this particular category. "I mean, not like I love Padme. I mean… I think I loved her, like… I can't explain it… but did I…"

"She was like your sister," Obi-Wan whispered quietly, hoarsely, and noticed with despair how Anakin's face and eyes darkened.

"I loved her like a sister," the younger man murmured, going back to staring at the table. "I should be able to remember then… I-I should know more about her… I want to remember, Obi-Wan…"

"I know, Anakin…"

"You said it would help me." The Knight's voice was broken again, on the verge of tears. "You told me that it would stop the pain. You… you didn't tell me they were going to take her away from me." He banged a fist against the table, causing even Padme to jump from the other room.

The memories of good times and laughing and hurt and fun and bantering and fighting and teasing were all _right there_. Teasing him, dangling just out of his reach. No matter how close they came to him, he could never reach them. The Soul Healers had removed the traumatic parasite from his mind; but they had shattered and scattered almost every single memory he had of his Snips. Ahsoka T… T… Tano. Ahsoka Tano. Snips. She was just out of his reach, and damn it, Obi-Wan and the others wouldn't give him enough information to fix those memories. Worried it was cause a relapse. He wouldn't relapse. He just wanted her back. All those fun times, y'know, since there weren't any left in the galaxy anymore. Mutts ruled the universe, and the survivors all huddled on Naboo.

He hit the table again, and then again, and again, his mechno hand denting the oak wood as he watched Obi-Wan flinch with each bang. The Master wrapped his arms around himself, lowering his head; and he was just barely aware of his wife in the kitchen, placing a hand over her mouth as two tears escaped her eyes.

"You didn't tell me," he cried out, losing control of his own emotions as he dropped his head into his hands, too tired to fight the depressing reality any longer. He tried one last time to grab onto Ahsoka Tano, Snips, but the memoirs danced away once again. Not only that, but the white, roaring noise was gone. It had hurt, yes; but it _something_. It felt connected to her, somehow. But now there was just empty silence, leaving his ears burning and begging for more. He _hated _it.

"You didn't tell me… you didn't say you were gonna take her away forever… you lied, Master… you lied… you didn't say they were going to take her away… you didn't tell me…"

*end*


End file.
